Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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