Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
