Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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