i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
