So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
