I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Come on in and take your pants off
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