She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
