you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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