i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
