There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
