I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
