I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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