She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
