I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
