Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
