you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
My orgasm happened in two different decades
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
