You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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