So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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