Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
