last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
