And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Randomize
