Ambien. No doubt about it.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
