your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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