He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
