He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I have already put on my inside pants.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
