she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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