I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
