sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
