And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
