I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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