I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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