At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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