Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
