"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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