i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
