This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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