You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
