absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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