It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
