Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm both gender and math confused
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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