Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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