if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Mom said you looked used
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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