tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
It all started with a game of naked twister.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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