btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
