He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
