somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
How does it feel to date your dad?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
