yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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