so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
