Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
