Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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