Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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